Victim's Support

What are my First Steps?

Dealing with your stalker

Never react to or communicate with the stalker. However, ignoring the harassment will not necessarily cause the stalker to stop. The sooner action is taken, be it police caution or warning, solicitor's letter or arrest, the more chance it has of stopping it. Research has shown that those stalkers who are allowed to carry on are less likely to stop easily.

Do not respond. Never agree to meet with your stalker or communicate with them in any way! It could put you in danger and may weaken any prosecution case against your stalker simply because you have co-operated with them.

Contact the local police. Do this quickly and ask for the name of the officer in charge of the case and record the crime reference number.

Inform. Ensure family, friends, neighbours and colleagues are aware of what is happening. They can also keep a record of sightings and suspicious incidents for you, as well as supporting and protecting you.

Improve personal safety. Carry a mobile phone with you as well as a personal attack alarm - it will help you feel more comfortable when you go out. Rely on your instinct. If you ever feel in imminent danger, do not hesitate to call 999. Consider improvements to your home security.

Keep a record. Record any incident you feel is suspicious including:

  • Telephone calls - Do not enter into conversation with your stalker. Remain calm and try not to show any emotion. Put the handset to one side then leave for a few minutes, return and replace the handset. Record the date and time of the call as well as the details even if they were unanswered or silent calls. Try dialling 1471 for the caller's number. Write down and save any text messages and the time they were received.
  • Sightings - Record the date, time, location, a description of clothing they are wearing and anything they may be carrying and what they are doing.
  • Cars - If you are aware of a particular car, record the date, time, location, make and model of car, colour, registration number and any other distinguishing features.
  • Mail -If you are wary of any mail that is delivered to you, either give it straight to the police without opening it, or put gloves on so you do not put your fingerprints on it.
  • Computers - Save information received onto your computer / USB and print out a hard copy of relevant data. Do not delete the original. Only open emails if you know the originator and ensure your computer is secure and virus protected.
  • Camera - Record anything you can as this will be very useful evidence of what is happening, location and frequency of the incidents.
  • Diary of events - Keep a diary of what happens and how you are feeling. This will not only help you, but assist the police in their investigation.

The Action Against Stalking Victim Impact Box is a very useful tool which you can purchase. The box includes three booklets that will give you the knowledge, resource and tools to understand, deal and take control of your situation. The three booklets include: Stalking - All you need to know; All you need to do and Resource Booklet.